Hello everybody, I’m really happy that you’ve joined me for another awesome blog post. Today we’re going to discuss how to defeat your inner enemy. This is a common issue that my team of coaches and I encounter when working with business owners, sales professionals, and others. Despite the fact that they are phenomenal people, they doubt themselves. This problem stems from what they’re thinking and saying to themselves.
Your only enemy is your inner perception!
Doubting yourself has two facets:
- The first one is that many successful people I’ve worked with were anxious due to their self-talk. I continually see entrepreneurs with thriving, fast-growing businesses who bring us in to help accelerate the growth. Yet, the owner is deeply unhappy because they’re telling themselves that they’re unsuccessful and they’re not where they should be. They’re basically feeding themselves all sorts of limiting beliefs. It’s incredible to witness, and it happens surprisingly often. Furthermore, they cannot change their mindset without help. Fortunately, they did after they went through our coaching program.
A lot of people who do not have the chance to work with highly successful people or those in leadership roles are unaware that such people may have such thoughts. It almost seems counterintuitive. In any case, that’s the first part of the problem. People who are unaware of their success and also very unhappy due to what they’re thinking and saying to themselves.
- The second facet of the problem applies to many more people. The person in this scenario has not yet achieved massive success in their business, but, just as in the first case, they are extremely unhappy because of their self-talk. By doing so, they are also reducing their success rate and holding themselves back.
These two scenarios are all tied to your inner enemy, which is all about inner dialogue. But thankfully, we have a degree of control over that. We have a way to combat it, and there are four steps I would like to recommend in this regard.
How to combat your inner critic?
Maybe you’re in the same boat as those mentioned above, and you may feel depressed. It’s easy to feel like you haven’t made it or that you don’t cut it, but you don’t have any apparent reason for those feelings other than the lies you’re telling yourself. If any of these describe you, then these four steps are especially useful for you. With that in mind, let’s dive in!
Write down what you’re telling yourself. You can do this step on paper or electronically. This will enable you to see what you’re saying to yourself. Maybe it’s, “Oh my gosh, I should be married by now, I’m 40-years-old”, or you’re constantly saying “I should be married by now” or “I’m a loser because I’m not married by now”. Or perhaps you’ve gone through a divorce and you’re saying negative things based on that.
Make a list of the reasons for your negative self-talk. Perhaps you say, “I should have more money right now”, “I’m broke right now”, or even “I’m an idiot”, “I’m stupid”, or “I made a horrible” decision. Put your inner enemy in front of your eyes by writing it down. In order to combat these limiting beliefs, you have to bring them to your attention, and that’s what writing them out does.
Disagree with what you wrote down in the first step (out loud or on paper). For instance, you wrote: “I’m an idiot”. In this case, you should tell yourself:
- “Hey, wait for a second, I’m not an idiot. I have a degree from a very well-known business school, the University of Texas”.
- “I’m reading, I’m getting smarter every day.”
- “No one has ever called me an idiot, I’m certainly not an idiot, I’m actually the opposite of it. I’m brilliant, in fact.”
To be fair, this actually takes some practice. It’s a bit weird at first and may not feel natural. However, the more you do it, the easier it gets to shut your inner critic. Like anything else you practice, it becomes second nature, so just keep at it!
Consistently speak true affirmations to yourself. By now you’ve already disagreed with the negative belief system in your head, so, you need to start saying affirmations of truth out loud or in your mind. Alternatively, you can write down new affirmations, like:
- “I’m an excellent leader”
- “I’m a terrific friend”.
Start saying or writing things consistently throughout the day. It puts your mind and brain into a more positive spin with true affirmations about yourself. “I’m well-educated”, “I’m intelligent”, and “I’m smart” are the type of statements you should say, state, or write.
Just like step two, some of this stuff will feel a little hokey at first. Yet, if you stay the course, you’ll change the way that you think over time. Eventually, it will come naturally.
This last step is just a bonus. You can never go wrong with this one. No matter what they believe, people usually feel it’s important to write down or verbally acknowledge the things they’re grateful for in life, and this is especially true if you want to defeat your inner enemy. Almost everybody regardless of their life philosophy, worldview, or religion, agrees that it is a good idea.
- “I’m super thankful that I had a warm shower this morning.”
- “I feel incredibly happy and thankful that God has given me a beautiful child.”
- “I’m so grateful that my parents are healthy.”
Just say things like that or write them down consistently to help combat your inner enemy.
When you follow these four steps, you’ll defeat your inner enemy, leading to more success and increased happiness. That is not to say you’ll never need support. Being an entrepreneur can be challenging. If you ever require small business assistance, business consulting, sales help, or business coaching, EntreResults is ready and willing to support you in controlling your inner critic and taking your business to the next level. Feel free to give us a call or send us an email!
In the meantime, go out, take action, and make it a better than amazing day!